March 2007
1 tag
he could have been a poet but didn't take the...
i got my period yesterday. spring break starts next week. thursday steve wasn’t there. and keezur made this comment about me and steve
why don’t you just kiss him?!
and that freaked me out. so i called steve and i told him that i didn’t like him and all that bullshit.
we talked about other things.
all i know is that i don’t like him anymore. i kinda don’t even...
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op
i would like to have a dog and name it Lulu. preferably a rotweiler. those are awesome. i feel like i am too mean. that i have some sort of prejudice against fat people. and i really need to let go of it. i don’t always think i’m right. i know i’m right most of the time however. i get my feelings hurt when someone says things that are not true. i get so angry when i know...
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this is not for the faint of the heart
honestly that quite scared me. i get scared easily.
jeez.
i’m tired. and the weather is fabulous. just fabulous.
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who?
i don’t really know how i feel about people.
i’m still on the conceited yellow brick road.
it’s just cuz i look too damn good in those red shoes.
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goshasdfl;kaj willikers.
i get real excited about things and i laugh alot.
i’m also pretty bossy and people say i sound like a girly girly girl, 5 year old kid, or a midget.
it’s not cute.
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spiiiiider
ryan got a new piercing today. he got his septum pierced. he wasn’t at school but we chilled for about 2 hours after with ethan. he drew on my arm, and i told him to draw a spider web so he did on my elbow, and then he drew a crown and ROYAL on the bottom of it and he drew a heart but that heart sucked. yea he’s a good artist i freaking love it i wish i never would wash it off. today...
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it's ok to eat fish cuz they don't have any...
tomato juice = heaven.
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70 degrees in 1960
beautiful beautiful beautiful day.
took a walk to the beach while listening to my mix.
good stuff, good stuff.
i know i’m not fat. i don’t even like to think about it.
but if i was, it’s terrible isn’t it?
i miss Brennan. it’s a really current feeling that takes you down so gently when they’re the brightest fire fly 3,000 something miles away.
...
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stop
when she dropped her camera on the floor. i knew. i just knew. i realized. i just realized. he’s a crayon. i’m a camera. and he’s a doughnut with the hidden gross filling. i’m still a camera. and it wasn’t because she wasn’t holding it right. it just fell. slipped out of her hands.
i want to go to montauk. on the train. like in eternal sunshine of the...
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45+
i dunno what at the moment. i’m bland.
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todo habla de ti
i sorta woke up this morning really wanting to call steve. he wrote me a letter yesterday. i write him letters every single day. he wrote a bunch of stuff of how ms. formato sucks. and then he wrote:
Sorry i’m gay. I wish i wasn’t either. It would be much easier for me.
and i think it’s not the fact that he wants to be gay. perhaps it’s the fact that he’s tried...
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neverending cycle
all the girls want a boyfriend and then they don’t and then they look for another one and then they don’t and the want another boyfriend.
solidarity is the best state of mind.
most girls make me ashamed to be a girl.
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desert de mon c oe ur
i talked to jessica on the bus today. and we talked about Paris. and it made me so happy
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ahh
ahh Max made me feel bad today. he pisses me off.
he was all like do you know what Rock the Casbah is about? and i’m like yea. and he’s like what is it? and i’m like it’s about the isrealites and the palestinean fight. and he’s like NO IT’S NOT blah blah i looked it up whatever.
i was like dude you’re not gonna come up to me and tell ME what the Clash...
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prom regime
do 53 situps every day, then put in AE Ride Mix and finish with situps for entire song
on spring break, run every day from your house to beach, beach to house.
stop biting nails, let hair grow out, put acne medication every night, wash face twice a day.
for prom night: get hair done, nails done, eyebrows waxed, shave PERFECTLY, get makeup done with fake lashes.
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i'm tired.
I’M TIRED OF WHETHER HE’S GAY OR NOT.
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hello hello hello
yes so i woke up this morning with a little bit of a bang. a little bit of a kick.
why i don’t know.
i’ve had steven snipes on my mind a lot. prom has just got me excited out of my mind. but a lot of things have bothered me too with him asking me and all.
the question about whether or not he’s gay is really starting to fuck me up. and i keep making a big deal out of it as if...
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you'll never know
i remember that one time mister bear and i went to the hospital so i could get my tests. we went. and i listened to Ozma on the way there. and he came on Friday morning. and i had to take tests. and i watched the Notebook. and then i took a shower. and he called me. and he was at my window but i didn’t see him. and he said i’m outside your parking lot.
and i came outside in the...
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:)
ahhh jeez.
best fucking day of my life.
i got asked to prom today! well Max asked me about a month ago. but i was sort of kinda hesitant. because i didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and all. but today. OH TODAY. i came dressed like Marla Singer. and Max was like jeez woman you’re killin me. i was like how?! and he’s like you look very pretty today. and i was so happy....
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movies to watch
The Enigma of Clothing. Rear Window. Liquid Sky. Fig Leaves. Shoes, Erotiscism, and Fetish. Paris is Burning. Model. Assuming a Pose. Lady With A Hat. Who Are You, Polly Maggoo, and Ceiling. Chop Suey. Unzipped. True Stories.
WATCH THEM.
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marla singer on friday
lunch time most definately was good. Doug is really good at taggin and graffiti art and stuff, so i asked him to tag YAMI. and that was sick. he’s making a rough draft. he showed me some samples and i chose which one. jeez it’ll be so cool. he’s really good at it. i was telling him he should tag decks and shit. and Max was talking about how he likes tagging Yoshi hiro and...
1 tag
electricity is an element
haven’t so much been too enthusiastic about anything. except going home. but even that today was dreadful. jeez. the power went out yesterday. my aunt hadn’t paid the bill since august. so they took the power out and i came home and i ran the water and freezing cold water came out and i had turned the hot water thinger. i was like wtf, somebody must have taken all the hot water and...
1 tag
since you were kids
been thinking alot about religion lately. and how much of it i really don’t understand. how much of it i really don’t want to be a part of. most of all i think it’s just like an freaking country club. that only stupid freaks are a part of. for one i think you choose to be the kind of believer you see in someone else. and i think that you make up the rest as you go along. i would...
3 tags
1 tag
melt me down into big black armor
i wrote several letters today. several letters to Brennan. i missed him very much today. he called this morning and i couldn’t keep pretending at some points. i don’t know what it is. it just falls down. i came home and called him. did something different after school for a change. and i left some messages. and i went to sleep.
woke up did some homework, and now i’m on here...
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i hate this subject
i just want to get out of here.
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dude ethan gets so freakin drunk it’s not even funny. and he gets absolutely no fucking hangovers the next day.
WEIRDO.
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yes
today was a good day. everything was good. i wore my new belt. and i love it. i’m glad i found it in steve’s closet. and one of the things that never really stops mystifying me is the fact that i love sleeping pills.
took 3 last night.
and i didn’t fall asleep like a baby because babies wake up every 2 hours. so i fell alseep like i’ve taken sleeping pills.
this girl...
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wtf.
i’ve been home for one hour. i got home and Mitchell didn’t even say hello he just glanced at me like “wtf” and i didn’t say shit i just walked past him. fuck Mitchell. everything is fucking awkward.
i stayed with Steve.
last night was bad. pretty fucking bad. actually ever since friday i’ve had the worst day ever. never went on friday night. i talked to...
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so...
so i found out last night… that i can get down.
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new regime
250 pushups a day. and i haven’t listened to Fugazi in hella long.
feels so good.
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keren's bangin
i think i’m too conceited for my own good. my freaking period. but i haven’t even gotten it yet. i know it’s making me all pissed off. goddamn i swallowed 6 sleeping pills last night. litterally fall on my pillow around 8:30. haha and ethan on aim was trying to explain House of Leaves.
yea that made me sleepy.
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downfall
Je m’ennuis et je me fatigue. Aujourd’hui je ne me sens pas comme tous les autres jours. Je me sens démodé, indésirable, folle, moche, et pas agréable du tout. Quand Mr. Bear parle des autres filles, je crois que dedans ma tête, je ne peux pas respirer si doucement comme avant. Je sens que mes dents courbes et mon visage ne suffit pas et que tout le monde pense à la même chose.
Je ne...