you should really come party
yes really yes really i should come and party. but there is no real party going on at the moment. ugh i feel lonely. i wonder how long this ridiculous and horrid feeling will persist. my relationship with Brennan has gone to shit. fuck shit fuck shit. he is forever obsessed with an absurdness which is what i call it. a game with feeling and killing and friends and much better company that me i...
red lobster, red crab
none of my blog titles have anything to do with their content. i’m scared about making all of this things public. ugh. i don’t know. i went to work today and i was working with Arlene, it was so much fun and i love working with Arlene. i will listen to Lovage non-stop. i’m jealous and i’m insecure. i’m sad. Brennan was so happy to hear Biyonka and Ashlen on the...
oh things will be different when i leave. or maybe not. i think this persistant feeling of lonliness will accompany. and i don’t know how to fix it. we have sex and i cling to him and i cry and i cry and i cry. that’s all i do i think. i just fucking cry. that’s all i can do. he’s going. he’s going to let me go. i have no choice to stay. i have to save up for...
coming back with powa powa
I lack the ability to forget, but it seems i cannot remember what i needed too. I have to talk things through before i can actually feel okay, the trouble is, I’m never truly willing to let it all out. I’ve become too stubborn, and i always need to be right.
Happiness doesn’t come from wealth and love and fame. It comes from the...
oh dear god. i started a journal but i stopped writing in it because it’s just never there when i want it to be and i like writing on the computer better than anything else. i graduate on thursday and i think only Brennan and Nixie are coming and i think that Brennan doesn’t even want to come anymore. i divised a plan. OK so last night around 2 in the morning i knew that Brennan...